bookshelf Recommendations
Many of my clients ask for book recommendations to read during the week between sessions. Here’s a list of book recommendations. I have not personally read all of these! If I haven't personally read, they are either highly recommended in my field or personally recommended by colleagues or former professors. I am always looking to expand the bookshelf so if you have ideas to add, I would be happy to research and revise the list!
Personally, I am a fan of audiobooks. If you don't already use them, with your local library card, you can access Libby or Hoopla (I use both for different media) for automatic downloads of audiobooks and ebooks. Sometimes there's a waitlist, but a lot of the time I am able to start listening right away!
There is a link for each book that will take you to Amazon where you can read a synopsis, reviews, and/or order the book.
CATEGORY TABLE OF CONTENTS
ATTACHMENT
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love (2012) Amir Levine, Rachel Heller
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (2008) Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships (2019) Dr. Marni Feuerman
Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships (2013) Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
RELATIONSHIPS
Married Roommates: How to Go From a Relationship That Just Survives to a Marriage That Thrives (2019) Talia Wagner, Allen Wagner
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (2015) John Gottman PhD, Nan Silver
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last (1997) John Gottman.
The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers, (2001 ). John Gottman and J. DeClaire.
Talking and Listening Together: Couple Communication One, (1991). S. Miller, P. Miller, E. Nunnally, & D. Wackman.
Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships, (1993). D.M. Clunis & G.D. Green.
The Good Divorce, (1994). C. Ahrons.
How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women, (2002). T. Real.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition, (1988). H. Hendrix.
Couples Companion: Meditations & Exercises for Getting the Love You Want : A Workbook for Couples, (1994). H. Hendrix & H. Hunt.
Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide, (1992). H. Hendrix.
The Personal Companion : Meditations and Exercises for Keeping the Love you Find, (1995). H. Hendrix & H. Hunt.
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (2011) Willard F. Jr. Harley
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful (2012) Janis A. Spring
ABUSE
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond, (1996). P. Evans.
In The Shadows of The Net: Breaking Free from Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior, (2001). P.Carnes, D. Delmonico & E. Griffin.
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, (1998). P. Mason & R.Kreger.
I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality, (1989). J.Kreisman & H.Straus.
The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 20th Anniversary Edition, (1988). E. Bass & L.Davis.
The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, (1990). L. Davis.
Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change, (1985). R. Norwood.
SELF-DISCOVERY
Internal Affairs a Journalkeeping Workbook for Self-Intimacy, (1988). K. Hagan.
Learning to Love Yourself: A Guide to Becoming Centered, (1990). G. Hendricks.
What Color Is Your Parachute? 1990: A Practical Manual for Job Hunters and Career Changers. (revised yearly). R. Bolles.
Composing a Life, (1989). M.Bateson.
Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing & Liberation (2022) Hilary Kinavey, Dana Sturtevant
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams, (1998). D.Ford.
Care of the Soul : A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life, (1992). T.Moore.
You Can Heal Your Life, (1988). Louise Hay.
Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow, (1986). J.Viorst.
Now, Discover Your Strengths, (2001). M. Buckingham.
SEXUALITY
Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life (2021) Emily Nagoski
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (2017) Esther Perel
New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way: Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90 (Wise Woman Herbal Series, Book 5) (Wise Woman Ways), (1992). S. Weed.
Extended Massive Orgasm: How You Can Give and Receive Intense Sexual Pleasure (Positively Sexual), (2000). S.Bodansky & V. Bodansky.
Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men, (2003). R.Thomashauer
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships, (1997). D. Schnarch.
Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life (2020) Justin J. Lehmiller
Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It (2018) Dr. Laurie Mintz
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy (2020) Jessica Fern
The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love (2017) Janet W. Hardy, Dossie Easton
PARENTING
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Dr. Daniel Siegel *favorite brain research author on childhood
The Yes Brain Workbook: Exercises, Activities and Worksheets to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity & Resilience In Your Child (2020) by Daniel J Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind (2015) Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson
Treating the Tough Adolescent: A Family-Based, Step-by-Step Guide (The Guilford Family Therapy Series), (1998). S. Sells. [He later published a workbook for parents.]
Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, (1997). J.Gottman & J.Declaire.
How to Help Your Teenager Postpone Sexual Involvement, (1988). M. Howard.
Predictive Parenting: What to Say When You Talk to Your Kids, (1989). S. Helmstetter.
EMOTION DYSREGULATION
Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook), (2007). M.McKoy, J.Wood & J.Brantley.
Depressed and Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety, (2004). T. Marra.
The Birth of Pleasure, (2002). C. Gilligan.
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, (2001). A. Solomon.
The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith, (1988). J.James & F.Cherry.
CHILDREN'S BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS FOR TALKING THROUGH MENTAL HEALTH
77 Children's Books About Mental Health: Best books for helping kids understand emotional and learning challenges
Dinosaurs Divorce!: A Guide for Changing Families, (1986). L.K. Brown & M. Brown. (for children).
SELF COMPASSION
The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness and Compassion Skills to Overcome Self-Criticism and Embrace Who You Are Bluth, K. (2017)
Radical Acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha Brach, T. (2003)
Radical Compassion Brach, T. (2020).
The Gifts of Imperfection Brown, B. (2010).
Laziness Does Not Exist Hardcover (2021) Devon Price Ph.D.
Self-Compassion in Psychotherapy: Mindfulness-Based Practices for Healing and Transformation Desmond, T. (2015).
The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions Germer, C. K. (2009).
The compassionate mind Gilbert, P. (2009).
The Mindful Self-Compassion workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, find inner strength, and thrive. Neff, K. D. & Germer, C. K (2018).
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive Neff, K. D. (2021).
Self-Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself Neff, K. D. (2011).
Self-Compassion for Parents: Nurture your child by caring for yourself Pollak, S. (2019).
Good Morning I Love You Shapiro, S. (2020).
How to Be Nice to Yourself: The Everyday Guide to Self Compassion Silberstein-Tirch, L. (2019)
CHILDREN’S SELF COMPASSION BOOKS
How to tame the tumbles: The mindful and compassionate way Beltzner, E. (2019).
Listening with My Heart: A story of kindness and self-compassion. Garcia, G. (2017).
My new best friend. Marlowe, S. (2016).
TRAUMA HEALING
Van der Kolk, Bessel A. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. New York, New York: Penguin Books, 2015.
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model (2021) Richard Schwartz Ph.D.
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (2021) Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook -- What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing (2007) Bruce D Perry, Maia Szalavitz
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma and Adversity (2019) Nadine Burke Harris M.D.
INSPIRATION
Cries of The Spirit, (1991). M. Sewell (ed.).
New and Selected Poems: Volume One, (1992). M. Oliver.
Dreams and Healing: A Succinct and Lively Interpretation of Dreams, (1978). J.Sanford.
A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life, (1993). J.Kornfield.
I Love My Body, (1985). L. Hay.
You Can Heal Your Life, (1999). L. Hay.
The Invitation, (1995). O. Mountain Dreamer.
Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, (2004). E.Hicks & J. Hicks.
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, (2002). B. Katie.
THE DYNAMIC LAWS OF PROSPERITY, (1962). C.Ponder.
Man’s Search for Meaning, (1984). V.Frankl.
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, (2005). M.Gladwell.
Sweat Your Prayers, (1997). G.Roth.
The Three Candles of Little Veronica: The Story of a Child’s Soul in This World and the Other, (1972). M.Kyber.
The Seat of the Soul, (1989). G.Zukov.
Nothing Special: Living Zen, (1993). C.J.Beck & S.Smith.
Wherever You Go, There You Are – Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life, (1994). J.Kabat-Zin.
The Existential Imagination, (1963). F.Karl & L.Hama Lian (eds.).
How Can I Help? Stories and Reflection on Service, (1994). R.Dass & P.Gorman.
The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, (1968). C.Castaneda.
Separate Reality, (1971). C.Castaneda.
Journey To Ixtlan, (1972). C.Castaneda.
The Art of Dreaming, (1993). C.Castaneda.
Course In Miracles 3rd, (1992). Foundation for Inner Peace.
The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition], (1992). J. Cameron.
Chicken Soup for the Soul, (1997). J. Canfield, M. Hansen, H. McCarty & M.McCarty. [there are many books in this series]
ANGER
Letting Go of Anger: The Eleven Most Common Anger Styles & What to Do About Them, (1995). R.Potter-Efron & P.Potter-Efron.
Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, (1993). J.Lee.
The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, (1985). H.G.Lerner.
Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don’t Know Why, (1986). S.Forward & J.Torres.
Integrated Anger Management (IAM): A Common Sense Guide to Coping with Anger, (1993). M.Fein.
WOMEN’S ISSUES
Women Don't Owe You Pretty (2021) by Florence Given
What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You Are Already Enough (2018) by Chidera Eggerue
Women’s Ways Of Knowing: The Development Of Self, Voice, And Mind 10th Anniversary Edition, (1997). M. Belenky, B.Clinichy, N.Goldberger & J.Tarule.
A Woman’s Book of Life: The Biology, Psychology, and Spirituality of the Feminine Life Cycle, (1995). J. Borysenko.
Smart Women Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Achieving Financial Security and Funding Your Dreams (Revised Edition), (1999). D. Bach.
OURSELVES, GROWING OLDER: Women Aging with Knowledge and Power, (1994). P. Doress, W.Orters & D.Siegal.
Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era, (1998). Boston Women’s Health Book Collective.
The Obsession: Reflections on the Tyranny of Slenderness, (1980). K.Chernin.
Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much – Revised edition, (1990). A.W.Schaef.
The Women of Brewster Place: A Novel in Seven Stories, (1982). G. Naylor.
The Wounded Woman, (1982). L.Leonard.
The Vagina Monologues, (1998). E. Ensler.
Making Our Lives Our Own: A Woman’s Guide to the Six Challenges of Personal Change, (1991). M. Mason.
MEN'S ISSUES
The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing, (2004). P. Henry.
I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, (1997). T. Real.
Man, Interrupted: Why Young Men are Struggling & What We Can Do About It (2016) Philip Zimbardo
MAN DISCONNECTED: How the digital age is changing young men forever (2016) Philip-Zimbardo
ADHD AND NEURODIVERSITY
Indistractible: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, by Nir Eyal.
Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, by Cal Newport.
Smart and Scattered for Teens, by Richard Guare (Author), Peg Dawson (Author), Colin Guare (Author)
The Smart but Scattered Guide to Success: How to Use Your Brain's Executive Skills to Keep Up, Stay Calm, and Get Organized at Work and at Home by Peg Dawson (Author), Richard Guare (Author)
Smart but Scattered--and Stalled: 10 Steps to Help Young Adults Use Their Executive Skills to Set Goals, Make a Plan, and Successfully Leave the Nest by Richard Guare (Author), Colin Guare (Author), Peg Dawson (Author)
Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You (2021) Jenara Nerenberg
Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity (2022) Devon Price
CHRISTIAN FAITH AND DECONSTRUCTION
Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion by Dr. Marlene Winell
Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans
Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism (2021) by by Amanda Montell
Saving Jesus from the Church: How to Stop Worshiping Christ and Start Following Jesus by Robin Meyers
Christianity after Religion: The End of Church and the Beginning of a New Spiritual Awakening by Diana Butler Bass
Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith by Sarah Bessey
After Evangelicalism: The Path to a New Christianity by David P. Gushee
So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore: An Unexpected Journey by Wayne Jacobson and Dave Coleman
Faith After Doubt: Why Your Beliefs Stopped Working and What to Do About It by Brian D. McLaren
What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality, (2000). D. Helminiak.
Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? Revised and Updated: Positive Christian Response, A, (1994). L.Scanzon & V.Mollenkott.
CLIMATE AND ECOLOGICAL ANXIETY
A Field Guide to Climate Anxiety: How to Keep Your Cool on a Warming Planet by Sarah Jaquette Ray
Active Hope: How to Face the Mess We’re in without Going Crazy by Joanna Macy
Under The Sky We Make: How to Be Human in a Warming World by Kimberly Nicholas
Emotional Inflammation: Discover Your Triggers and Reclaim Your Equilibrium During Anxious Times by Dr. Lise Van Susteren, MD, and Stacey Colino
We’re All Climate Hypocrites Now: How Embracing Our Limitations Can Unlock the Power of a Movement by Sami Grover
I work in the environmental movement. I don’t care if you recycle., published in Vox, 2019, by Mary Annaise Heglar
ADDICTION
The 12 Steps to Self-Parenting for Adult Children, (1988). P.Oliver-Diaz & P.O’Gorman.
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition, (1997). A.Miller.
The Art of Recovery, (1999). M.Delaney.
Adult Children of Alcoholics, (1983). J.Woititz.
The Intimacy Struggle: Revised and Expanded for All Adults, (1985). J.Woititz.
Choicemaking: For Spirituality Seekers, Co-Dependents and Adult Children, (1985). S.Wegscheider-Cruse.
How to Stay Sober: Recovery Without Religion, (1988). J.Christopher.
Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism — New and Revised Edition [Second Edition][The Big Book], ( ). AA World Services, Inc.
GROUP ACTIVITIES
Scripting: Social Communication for Adolescents, (1994). P.Mayo & P.Waldo.
The Teens’ Solutions Workbook, (1996). L.Shapiro.
Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (1990). Dr. Seuss.
Group Exercises for Enhancing Social Skills and Self-Esteem, (1996). S. Khalsa.
Cowstails and Cobras 2: A Guide to Games, Initiatives, Ropes Courses & Adventure Curriculum, (1989). K.Rohnke.
Islands of Healing: A Guide to Adventure Based Counseling, (1988). J.Schoel, D.Prouty & P.Radcliffe.
New Games Book, (1976). A.Fluegelman (ed.).
Silver Bullets: A Guide to Initiative Problems, Adventure Games and Trust Activities, (1984). K.Rohnke.
Creative Therapy III: 52 More Exercises for Groups, (1995). J.Dossich & E.Shea.